Last time, we talked about what to do if your gut is silent. But what if your gut isn’t silent, and you’re afraid to upset the other person by telling them your decision?
This is boundary work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Think about boundaries from these two lenses:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-A Containment Boundary protects the world from me ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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and a⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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-Protective Boundary protects me from the world ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As long as you are speaking from your Healthy Place of Self Esteem (not Better Than or Less Than) then you have placed *your* protective boundary and you are NOT responsible for the other person’s response, pain or frustration. You may feel compassion for them, but those are their issues and you do not have to absorb them!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Boundaries and Healthy Self Esteem go hand-in-hand. So many of my clients are women who feel steamrolled in their marriage and personal lives, unable to establish and use boundaries, and they are afraid of what might happen if they “rock the boat”. My work is to show you how to do this boundary work, improving your self esteem and your relationships.
Hear more of what I have to say about how to deal with fear of upsetting the other person when you need to share that you’ve come to a decision in this video: