Growing up, I was always “the smart one.”
For years. Elementary school to junior high into high school.
In my friendship circle, that’s what made me, me.
Then high school hit and my friendship circle expanded a little. I was no longer “the smart one.”
And that was devastating to me.
“Who am I now?”
Someone else was smarter than me.
Keep in mind this is elementary school through high school…a very egocentric time of life.
My Best Friend…
It wasn’t until recently that I found out I wasn’t the only one who saw me as “the smart one”.
My best friend at the time (Jenny) also saw me that way and she felt Less Than, compared to me.
Can you believe it?
If you’ve been paying attention to my content, you know that I always used to identify as feeling Less Than. It was weird for me to realize someone felt Less Than me.
Back in college, Jenny told me a story about how she was working on a project and the assignment was a little overwhelming for her.
The way she got through it and motivated herself to complete it was to think:
“Vickey couldn’t do this.”
When she told me that story, at the time, during college, I was pretty upset. I felt a sting of competition and judgment. Looking back now, I can see that I went into Better Than.
I remember thinking “How dare she? It’s not like I think of her when I’m writing a paper. It’s not like I have to prop myself up in comparison to her to get through things.”
It never occurred to me back then that it was her way of completing her assignment. (which, btw, is EXACTLY what she said when she told me the story. I just wasn’t in a place where I could hear it.)
She had felt Less Than me.
It wasn’t until recently, let’s say…the past year, that I was able to see that whole situation from a different perspective.
Now That I understand Healthy Self Esteem
I stand equal to all, eye to eye and toe-toe. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. I have worth because I was born. I am enough and I matter, in spite of my flaws and imperfections.
I now understand Jenny’s pain in college.
Jenny and I have very different strengths and weaknesses.
(I could list a bunch of them for anyone who’s interested.)
The point is, those differences make us human.
Those differences DON’T make one of us Better Than or Less Than the other.
What Jenny and I were doing back then was comparing ourselves to others (being Society/Other Based, you can see that video here).
If you have the same struggle, contact me now to get to work.
You KNOW this.
You know that you don’t feel happy when you’re comparing yourself to others.
Let me help you stop doing it.
This is what I do! This is my favorite topic to help people with.
Trust me, you can ask my husband, I talk about this stuff All. The. Time.
I’m excited to work with you and get you into Healthy Self Esteem!
Remember, YOU are enough and YOU matter