Most people that I know of have seen the movie “Encanto” by now. I am not giving *any* spoilers…but if you haven’t seen it and see it after this, this email might give you a different perspective on it. The more you learn and embody this lens of self esteem, the more you take it to heart for you, and you will begin to see it in things (like movies!).
If you *have* seen it, the character I’m talking about is Luisa. She’s the strong sister. (Physically!) Luisa’s self-esteem—and she says this in his song—is based on her achievements. She’s describing being in Achievement-Based Esteem. “I have worth because of what I do with my strength.”
(If you remember the outside sources of self esteem (it’s my name) EASA. E is for Esteem, A is for Achievements, S is for Society and A is for Attributes and Assets.)
She’s a little bit of Attribute-Based, too. “I have worth because I am strong.” And strength is an attribute. But I think she is primarly Achievement: “What I do with my strength.”
She also makes it very clear in her song how much it’s hurting her. That she’s in pain. And I don’t think she wants to live this way anymore. (I don’t think she makes that part clear, but that’s my interpretation as her therapist.)
So I just wanted to use Encanto as an example to point out what Attribute-Based self esteem can look like because Luisa is a really good example of it. “I have worth because I am strong. I have worth because of what I do.”
Remember EASA. When your worth stems from any of these outside sources, you will always be chasing it. You will always be left unfulfilled. (In the moment you’ll feel good. I’ll give you that!) But in the long run, they aren’t effective or longstanding.
So contact me to get help identifying what your outside sources are and learn how to get out of that lens. How to rewire it and live a more happy, content, peaceful life because you’re not chasing those outside sources anymore.