I don’t know about you, but I firmly believe that a part of self-esteem and decision-making is getting to know oneself.
Can you really make confident decisions if you don’t know yourself, what you like, and what you dislike?
A few years ago, I didn’t even know how to dress – and I’m over 40!
Let me back up: my entire adult life, I barely owned casual clothes.
For real – I’m a homebody. Until I had kids, if I wasn’t working, I was at home. I barely left the house. Is it good or bad that my husband is the same way?!
So, you tell me: did I need casual clothes?! No.
What’s funny is that when we’d be packing for a vacation I’d be struggling because I had nothing to wear, but it never occurred to me why I had nothing to wear!
Then I had a baby. I was home 2 days a week. (Uh, if you add weekends, 4 days a week!)
And, like going on a vacation, I had nothing to wear.
The difference is that this time I figured out WHY I had nothing to wear and I set out to change it.
So I shopped.
And I shopped.
And I shopped.
I’d get home, wear things for a while, and realize I didn’t really look good in anything I bought.
And I finally realized, I didn’t know what my personal style was. I couldn’t decide what clothes I liked and what clothes looked good on me.
Girl’s Trip!
I have a group of girlfriends that I’ve been close to for over 30 years.
Six years ago, we went on our first Girls’ Trip. After this trip, I was still on my mission to discover my personal preference of clothes and go shopping.
I reviewed each of their wardrobes in my mind and realized that what worked perfectly for each of them wasn’t going to work for me.
Let me break it down for you:
*Allyson is Hamptons. This woman dresses impeccably at all times.
When I try to dress like Allyson, I look like I’m trying too hard.
*Lisa is beachy. This woman is tall and all legs. She can pull off cut-off jean shorts and a tank top like no one’s business.
When I try to dress like Lisa, I look awkward. Cut-off jeans do NOT suit me!
*Drea & Christina are ath-leisure. These work-out clothes look great on them and natural on them.
When I try to dress like this, I look like I’m going to work out and just didn’t get dressed to go out in public.
*Jill is business casual. She’s obviously not always working and still looks put together and great when she’s not working.
When I try to dress like Jill, I look like I should be working and I just look awkward.
See my problem? Here are a bunch of styles and none of them quite fit me.
When I realized this, it actually scared me.
And that’s frightening.
Not knowing how to dress at 40 years old should not be a scary prospect!
This is why I mention indecision.
I was literally undecided about what clothes I liked and what would look good on me.
This could have been a fun and exciting project! Try stuff on, see what I like and what I don’t like.
Instead it was overwhelming and daunting.
On our next trip, I told my friends all my above theories. One of them actually told me how impressed she was that I was able to nail them each so completely. In fact, that conversation was a couple of years ago and they all still laugh about it.
They like to laugh about me being a therapist and how I’m always analyzing them, whether or not they realize it – and their example is this clothing observation.
I don’t know when I was able to do it, but I finally did come up with the style that worked for me.
Oddly enough, I can’t describe my own style for the life of me.
I know it when I see it and I feel so comfortable in the clothes I’ve chosen for myself.
…and none of my girlfriends would look good in my wardrobe!
Do you need help stepping out of indecision?
Join my FB group here and join the discussion!
Remember, YOU are enough and YOU matter