Teen Perspectives

If you’ve followed any of my content before, you know the EASA (my name) Lens of Self Esteem. This is where you define your worth if you don’t believe that you have inherent worth that stems from the inside—just from being born. So the EASA is:

E is for Esteem
A is for Achievements
S is for Society
A is for Attributes or Assets

So; I have worth because of what I achieve, I have worth because you say I do, I have worth because of what I have (nice personal belongings) or my nice physical traits.

Last week I did a talk for some teens and for the first time (in person) got a lot of questions/pushback (which I love!) on these outside sources. When I’ve done this talk with adults, they either get it right away, or they aren’t comfortable pushing back on me—I’m not sure. But this is the first time I’ve ever gotten this kind of pushback.

One of the comments was (and I’m paraphrasing) “What about college recruiters of high school sports?” Because statistically (stats) some athletes are “better” than others. And the recruiters are looking at those statistics. She asked if I was telling her that those don’t matter.

And my answer was, “No, I’m not.”

I enjoy having this dialogue with teens as a way to really open their minds and to have a different way to explain this lens. So, do what you need to do. If you’re in sports, I want you to succeed. Win the game. Get your scholarship. I want you to have the best stats and the scholarships.

I also want you to know that the person who came in second or the athletes who are on the bench have the same inherent worth as you do. Just from being born. You may be better at sports, but you are not a better person than them.

My husband jumped in (he was running the slideshow) throwing back to his high school basketball days. He said, “Do the trash talk as part of the sport knowing that when you walk off the field, that person is still your absolute equal.”

So, if you’re a lawyer, win the case. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, cook the best meals. Just so long as you keep in mind that the person who doesn’t win or doesn’t cook the best meals has the same inherent worth as you do just because they were born.

I’m not here to convince you to agree with me or to change your mind. I’m here to present a different way of looking at things. And then, in my office or coaching, I’m here to help you dig into why you don’t agree. I dig in with you on “What messages did you receive in childhood? Why don’t you agree with this belief system of inherent worth?”

If you need some help digging into these stories you tell yourself, contact me so we can work together!